<body> theletter <body>
PROFILE

PROFILE!
Qiao Wen
17
Ngee Ann Poly
Dreamer

Likes
Nature and Sunshine
Family and Friends
Cactus and Plants
Science Fanatic

Dislikes
Backstabbers
Liars and Cheaters

I wrote you a letter
didn't I?

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WISHLIST

wishlist here!
To livepast SEVENTEEN
To stay close to Family and Friends
To be stronger and better
To stay humble
Not succumb to the temptations of caffeinated and dairy products



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Thursday, 30 December 2010 00:40

Sometimes. I really really dislike the way we are now. Being hideous and all. For the multiple efforts made in mustering up the courage and punching your number into the phone, the only results I got were a few short replies; an answer that said it was inconvenient 'cause your mum's around; silence because you don't know what to say; silence because you do not know what to say to comfort me; a short, dry, unfeeling, cold reply to tell me that this wasn't a suitable time to talk. It hurts me even more when you do all these to me, time and again. Why would you not understand that doing this just hurts me even more, disappoint me even more, make me angry, frustrated, further depressed. Sometimes I just want to slam down the phone and tell you that you're a real jerk. That you make my life so miserable by letting me know that there is someone that I can trust to share my worries and frustrations with but that very person is not contactable and that he gives such unfeeling and horrible replies equivalent to pouring a glass of cold water at me and walking away. But I never managed to tell you this. 'Cause I know that you have your own problems and things hindering you from comforting me when I'm feeling down. However, it still hurts alot. I just want you to know that it hurts alot to actually be treated this way when you're breaking down and tearing yourself apart because you just do not know how to face it. When what you want is a few comforting words to come out of that person's mouth even though you know that it might be a white lie just to make you feel better.

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ransom letter


00:29

I dread for this day to come... Where I have to say it truly deep down from my heart. I HATE NP... What motivation do I still have left to lead the unit?


ransom letter


Wednesday, 29 December 2010 22:16

Just opened that stupid email that made me feel so depressed. That line was enough to knock me back into the state I was in before the holidays. So much for the break. I tried to appreciate it, but I guess it did not help me at all. Closing your eyes and whispering the magic word "disappear" does not make worrying things vanish in front of you. Realising that there's only one more person to help you deal with all those irritating things.

I read an article recently. Signs of people having a screw loose in their head. I started reflecting. I fell for all the criteria. Lawls. Thinking that I have supernatural powers. Laughing for no reason. Don't feel like eating every now and then. Go into a eating frenzy just because I feel like it. Yep. I belong to that one too. Man, I'm just getting too crazy. Short attention span. This is not me. I know it. Neither do I want to admit that I am crazy with something wrong with me mentally. I'm real tired. I don't want to go on with this any longer. Things shouldn't be this way.

There's this sense of guilt in me. That I should be studying. If not for myself then it would be for my parents and grandmother. They had such high hopes for me. I've always been the "smart" one at home. For the same reason why I am feeling so miserable because I feel that I am the one that brought misery upon my grandma. Cause of my birth. I owe her something. Gahhh... Growing up is really... Difficult. Painful.

My dad and mum gives that "are you serious" face when I said that I wanna go poly. I made that decision only because I'm serious this time. I've made up my mind on what I WANT to do. Not exactly. But at least I know what I wanna study. Something along the line of molecular biotechnology and biomedical engineering.

Well whatever. Just pray hard that I don't end up in IMH or anything similar to that. (:

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ransom letter